Spoiled Soldiers.. intro..

From Brainfart: Alright, this is the intro, and that's all you get for free!

SPOILED SOLDIERS

"yo, homeboy, you got a light?"

I had a light.

"well, can I use it, then?"

 

I let him use it.

Fuckface can't get it to work. I knew he wouldn't be able to..

But he don't wanna let me do it, he gotta show me he can light my lighter..

I'm not asking no more, as I go to grab his coat, many dudes rush this asshole with my lighter.

Before I can even see, I'm on the ground looking at like 17 dudes doing a timberland merry go round on this kids face..

I try to say something  about my fucking lighter.Right about the time the kid wasn't moving, and wasn't any fun to stomp no more..that shit looked personal,wonder what he did?.. i could've walked away without my lighter and gone about my day.. but I ain't ready to quit smoking.

I jump up the wall in to the park.. just to get one last look..... show nuff, out of the corner of my eye, i saw the beaten kid, still holding my lighter on the ground... one wild boy caught me with a  rock to the head, that got me on my ocho cinco, I was gone! One, by one, they all started  jumping the wall, and running up the hill after me... and all I'm trying to figure out is...yeah, you got it, i know..

Hopping fences, cutting corners, feverishly trying to gain a step... fuck, I swear I just almost yakked my heart up...these guys are big, if I can keep it going for...... a park ranger lookin like Smokey in a pick up truck,checking the commotion.. I hear sirens, the dudes slow up , but two of them are still like 5 steps back.. I yell to smokey to pick up the pace, and I sprint to catapult myself in the back of his truck...

This is not a permanent solushhah! One of  dudes hanging off the truck chokin the shit out of me!! I'm trying to get him off me........kidding.  Naw, so I jump in the truck and Smokey gets me to the other exit of the park.. He stops and hops out real quick, he wanna know why a wild pack of thugs was chasing me through the park, gonna hold me til blue eyes gets across the park.. His homie rolls past in another pick up.. This new dude was a little late..slow,dumb,right on time..

He got his ipod on, and smokey telling him "you are such a fucking peon, Bramble".. And Bramble just laughs and puts his headphones back in and drives away...right then, I snatch smokey's keys, still in his hand, and throw them in the back of Bramble's pick up.. Smokey chases, yells for Bramble to stop. But, Bramble thinks Smokey is playing and speeds away, with that dumb ass chasing his keys.. i peep cops, I get ghost..

Cab..

Head back to where the stupid fucking kid asked me for my lighter.

Right when we're coming to the spot, the kid rolls over the hood! Bloodied and fucked up, he got the lighter in his hand!  Cops grab him, I roll down the window,to try to snatch it somehow.. Fuckface flings the thing in the air, like 2o ft. Light turns green, cab starts going, cops are kicking the cab.  It lands in a sea of people, cops, and horses.. Cab dude won't let me out, too dangerous, he's on parole.. Gotta get that lighter..

But, I ain't jumping out no cab doing 50 down 7th avenue..

Once we're past 5oth, he says, he'll let me out at the next green light. Doors are locked anyway.. Ends up being 28th, before we hit a red.. He unlocks the door once I pay him. I sit back and tell him to take me to 14th between 1st and second.

Going to this really strange spot called "the perm.."

All the bartenders have like amy winehouse, marge simpson hairdos...so, i don't know why they call it the perm, but whatever.. 

Gotta meet with Coach, my high school basketball coach. He gave me that lighter.

When he first caught me at a house party, drinking and smoking he tried to kill me..

And then he gave me a ride home, and gave me that lighter.. "that is a very valuable lighter. if you're really a smoker, you'll hold on to that thing forever. if you lose it, you have to quit. and at some point,I'll tell you how the lighter--will set your dreams on fire"

He went on to tell me that whoever had it, had power. But not like the mask. They "had power they don't know they have."  

I told Coach he was full of shit! I almost lost it like ten times by graduation.. But, no really positive, life changing shit happened, besides not getting killed.. That kid was holding the lighter,and he got mallywhopped.. What kind of power is that? That he had the strength to chuck my lighter in the air, as the cops slammed him against a row of cabs on central park south?  

And now.. I sit here at a table, with two new castles between me and coach..

And he's looking at me....

He already knows.. And he ain't even giving me the "you know you done fucked up" face.. He's tight,nervous,like life threatening paranoid..just his eyes moving.. never turning his head to scan the room.. He always sits in this seat, where he faces half the room, and can see the rest behind him with the mirrors. No one had a full view of his face, but he always had a clear view of the front door.. That young, Harlem Malcolm shit, always watching the door. 

"I asked you to do one thing for me. One. Out of all the shit I've gotten you out of!

From report card upgrades, to hotel rooms for your mini groupies to,to retros the day they came out. And an,an, an extra pair for you to grind off on ebay. and don't forget the juice boxes.."

I wince.

"I got you your championship senior year."

"Yeah, one fucking year." He wasn't done with the other thing, "yeah, you remember them juice boxes, don't you boy. I  remember the first and last lunch I ever made you.. when you moved in the summer before your junior year."

I remembered. Shit finally hit the fan with my uncle. The government says he is not allowed to kidnap lunch crowd people off the street in midtown, and sell them back to corporate america wholesale.  He's gonna be in jail for a while, they seized his life. But, he set up accounts they don't know about.. So, he put me under the watch of his business partner, Coach. They've been friends since..  Anyway, coach's crib was stupid. I had my own wing, and he was at Perm most of the time, so right off the bat, for a little dude I was chilling..

My uncle worked at home, and even though anything goes, it was hard to bring girls around my uncle.. See, he has two heads..

Yeah, two, like the other body is inside him, so it's like a bigmac person..

But, one of the heads chose to be a pastor. His name is pastor.

And, well the other head chose to be a pimp...

So, I call him uncle. But, everybody else calls him PastorPimp..

The heads don't agree on much politically. 

But, style, taste in cars, women, and a whole lot of food, all seem to link up...

oops.. Yeah, and money..

Which is why he got locked up, which is why Coach became my guardian, which is why i'm trying not to sweat bullets sitting two crown and gingers away from Coach,and somehow I just ruined my future,but I can't truly understand the magnitude...or some shit Uncle Coach says.

I pull out a fuzzer, and light a sorry ass match to it.

He flicks it out of my mouth, shooting sparks and shit. 

"Fuck you coach!" I say, sweeping sparks off of my shirt and pants.

"No, boy you just fucked us all. unless you can track down that lighter... But, that's just you running around the street with your dick out, hoping it falls in the right place. It's gone, all i asked was that you kept that thing safe. Gave you absolutely everything you wanted,just keep it safe. No job, no family biz even. Just fuck off with your crew and hoops, and broads, and clubs and bud.. That's your life, the dream one you asked for. One thing. So, you don't smoke no more, right fuck face?"

He put a juice box, and an apple on the table, like when I was in highschool. He gave me a pained grin and got up, to go do some business in the office.

He didn't have to "make my lunch" anymore, this was just to let me know that even though the lighter is a big deal I'm not getting merked over it.

I take the top off the apple, just like back in the day, a zip of something fruity.. think it's olivepit kush. and the juice box...a knot of 5 stacks($5000).

It's just a fucking lighter. He likes to fuck with people, especially me. So, he's been laughing his ass off at my expense for over a decade.

Got me believing some myth he made up. 

Some myth he made up. Some myth he made up?

Yeah, it's bullshit..

Says me..

Please come back to catch glimpse 2 of 3 ....Spoiled Soldiers